woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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