Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
