somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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