Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
