This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
