I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
