Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
