whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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