u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
