its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Still dying that you shit outside
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
