The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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