yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
