just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Even my vagina gasped.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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