there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
