he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
