He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
