The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm both gender and math confused
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
