its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
