"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize