saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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