Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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