There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize