Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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