I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
