How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
