I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
