Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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