mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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