please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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