Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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