i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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