oh god the rape fog is back!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
