I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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