I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
