please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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