dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
