my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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