She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize