"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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