Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
