Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
