Barsexuality is the new black.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
