I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
