I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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