shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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