HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My dick has a subreddit
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
