I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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