is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I party with great urgency now.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
