i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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