If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
