Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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