glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
