Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
