So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
