He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
