remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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