you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
