you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
