Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
my poor anus
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
